Ninth, ninth, bloody ninth!

Last updated : 16 April 2002 By Patrick Hill
It's time we stopped deluding ourselves. We have a tactically inept manager and a captain with about as many leadership qualities as Gareth Sheldon.

A proven matchwinner.... um, winning a match for us.
Is Brian Laws asking the fans to criticise him? To bring off the ball winner in Wayne Graves and to replace him with Gareth' No skill' Sheldon is in my book the action of a madman, especially when you have a matchwinner in Lee Hodges sitting on the bench.

Captain, according to the Oxford Advanced Learners Dictionary, is ‘the leader of a team or group'.

Would you say that Peter Beagrie is leading our team? Well okay, he attaches a sticky white strap to his arm every match signifying he is captain, but do captains constantly criticise their team mates every match?

The answer is no. Strip him of his captaincy and hand it to Garcia. Sir Alex leads by example and gives 110% every match, something our previous
captain Steve Torpey finds impossible. Can Steve Torpey actually run?

He occasionally decides to jog but most of the time just walks around the
pitch like a lame donkey. It wasn't supposed to come to this, we are no
longer in the playoffs and we need two teams to slip up for us to even have a
chance of achieving the mediocre feat of reaching the playoffs.

Even if we reach the playoffs, do you really believe we'll win them? This may
sound strange but I hope York stuff us on Saturday so that we can finally
demand the resignation of Laws.

Steve ‘silent' Wharton has already stated that should the Iron fail to win promotion he will step down as chairman, so it looks as though we could see a welcome reshuffle on the cards down at Glanford Park.

Lets ship the players like Sheldon off to a little place called the Conference ( that's in the unlikely event they'll take them) and rebuild again.

Lee Hodges is leaving for fields anew in the Summer along with Andy Dawson and a hat full of other names, but unfortunately there will still be Torpey and a binbag crammed full of others who are willing to receive their pay packets each month for another year until their contracts expire for not giving a f*ck.

Mr Comerford please, I am begging you, take away the financial drains who call themselves directors and take this club forward to division two and beyond.

You can read Patrick's comments exclusively at the beginning of each week only on The views expressed above are his, and not neccesarily ours. Though they may be the same. Then again they might be different, who knows.