Scum 2 - 0 Scunthorpe

Last updated : 03 November 2002 By Patrick Hill

Brian Laws implied the Iron were robbed of three points by eleven men in black and amber two hours later but were the Iron really unlucky or was Lawsy just making excuses for a poor performance...as usual?

The eleven who took to the field in red were Evans, Dawson, Balmer, McCombe, Stanton, Beagrie, Graves, Calvo-Garcia, Barwick, Carruthers and Torpey.

Matt Sparrow was suspended for the match... McCombe, Beagrie, Calvo-Garcia, Barwick and Graves may as well have been.

Jamie 'Whooosh' McCombe for doing his best impression of Nicky Mohan all afternoon, Peter Beagrie for playing when he clearly shouldn’t have been (although to be fair that blame should probably be portioned clearly outside Brian Laws's door), Calvo-Garcia for frankly playing crap, sorry Alex but you were as were you El Tel Barwick, maybe you two should have been somewhere in Spain for the weekend and Wayne Graves because I didn’t notice him all game which actually would have been good if he were the referee and not a central midfielder!

Although it would be fair to say Hull were on top in the first half (mainly because the Iron's midfield were doing their best disappearing act) United's defence were preventing Hull from creating any clear cut openings, that is apart from when McCombe went into Nicky Mohan overdrive getting himself in more of a mix up than a Hull fan who's asked to count to ten and almost collided into Evans. Fortunately for United Jevons failed to take advantage and United remained on level terms.

At half time Laws decided to make a change to the midfield. The again poor Barwick was replaced by loanee Lee Featherstone.

Featherstone's performance was much better than Barwick's had been and for a while at least the rest of the Iron's midfield looked like they might be able to make up for their abysmal first half showing but unfortunately it was just that...a while.

After that Hull again took complete control possession wise but without really making a clear cut chance and so it looked as though United's fans were going to be able to save face at their schools, colleges and places of work on Monday morning by leaving Boothferry Park with a point.

Then Hull's Damien Delaney beat Featherstone to the ball and his cut-back was drilled home by Michael Branch. United's away support realised they were going to be leaving Boothferry Park soaking wet and pointless while three whole stands of inbreds celebrated like they had won the league. Somebody in the local housing estate Gypsyville (that is the actual name of the estate) even let off a firework in celebration.

The United fans misery was further compounded when Jamie McCombe acting like Nicky Mohan was MUSCLED off the ball by Alexander (who is just for the record now even more of a wanker). Alexander then smashed the ball home for Hull's second.

The Inbreds again celebrated as though they had won the league, a number of Kemptonites invading the soggy turf, including a streaker who slipped over twice but still somehow managed to escape back into the stand before the inept stewards could catch him and cue the Gypsyville firework display again.

The United fans were kept in the ground for twenty minutes after the match in the pouring rain while their 'heroes' hopefully realised how they had let them down hung their heads in shame.

Ifs, buts and maybe aren't good enough Laws, I expect to see a a marked improvement next Saturday...