A preview of the Christmas schedule...

Last updated : 06 December 2003 By Jim Coulson
Christmas Eve: ‘Darlington F.C. (Fight Club)’

An 18 year old centre half cowers on the floor as Barry Conlon (Brad Pitt) and Ryan Valentine (Ed Norton) address a room full of half naked men…

Conlon: The first rule of Darlington Fight Club is you don’t talk about Darlington Fight Club

Valentine:
The second rule of Darlington Fight Club is you don’t talk about Darlington Fight Club

Conlon
: The third rule of Darlington Fight Club is that…if you’re making coffee AND tea, can you please use separate spoons? It plays havoc with my Earl Grey.

Christmas Day: ‘Steve MacLean’s Great Escape?’

The Scottish striking star (Steve McQueen) is in solitary confinement, nonchalantly kicking a ball against a wall, in walks the guard, Steven Von Torpey…

Von Torpey: For you Stevie, zere ist no escape. Ve vill keep you here vether you like it or not. Now, be a sport and pass ze ball to me, I vant to play…

Stevie passes the ball, Von Torpey goes to strike it against the wall, but loops it over and into the Commandant’s private quarters.

Von Torpey: Oh, endschuldigung, bitte.

Boxing Day: ‘Indecent Propos-Hull’

Ray Graydon (Robert Redford) takes a fancy to young Ryan Williams (Demi Moore), even though he is attached to Peter Taylor (Woody Harrelson). Graydon can offer Williams one thing that Taylor can’t, first team football. In the end, Taylor agrees to share Williams with hilarious disastrous results.


Jim can be heard on 96.9 Viking FM across Yorkshire and Lincolnshire on weeknights from 10 PM.